Oh, Senator Thrasher, how misguided you are...

So today, the witch hunt officially comes to a climatic end. At some time this afternoon, a group of non-educators will determine the future of the career that I have dedicated the past sixteen years of my life to. With a simple yea or nay a group of uninformed and illogical people hundreds of miles away will decide that a group of tweens should be responsible for my livelihood. With a total disregard for the accountability of the people who brought these children into the world in the first place, and a complete lack of knowledge of what actually needs to take place in a classroom, Senator Thrasher and his cohorts are going to effectively kill public education and replace it with a glorified test preparation service. How does this make sense? All we as teachers hear, day in and day out, year in and year out, is the mantra from those above us, “Don’t teach to the test, don’t teach to the test…” Will that mantra change? How can it not? Now it will be, “Don’t teach to the test, don’t teach to the test…but 50% of your salary and your ability to pay your mortgage will be based on the results…but don’t teach to the test…”


And let’s not forget about the indictment that this bill makes on the entire system of higher education in this country. Don’t think that the colleges and universities are leaving this travesty unscathed. Apparently, the graduate schools that I attended and the in-depth programs that I successfully navigated through are bogus. That’s right. According to this bill, my Masters and Specialist degrees count for nothing. Maybe I should hold those institutions responsible for my lack of knowledge gained in the field of education. Where’s the accountability? After all, this bill is stating that my graduate degrees have no relevance in the classroom. Nor does my National Board certification (though it holds teachers to national standards that are far more rigorous than anything the state has ever put together), or the sixteen years of experience that I bring into my classroom every day.

In fact, I think that Senator Thrasher makes a good point regarding graduate degrees. How does an advanced degree really show ability? Therefore, I am calling on Senator Thrasher to be disbarred from the Florida Bar. After all, he received his Juris Doctor degree from Florida State in order to become an attorney. If we throw out graduate degrees, as apparently is the new precedent in Florida, why stop with teachers? Fair is fair. Plus, he got his graduate degree back in 1972—38 years ago! Shouldn’t we assume that he has gained no experience in that time period? Shouldn’t logic lead us to believe that he, in fact, is the same level of attorney that he was back before the days of disco?

Actually, I hope that Senator Thrasher remains an attorney for a while because, quite frankly, I may need one in the future. Not because of any criminal transgressions, but because I plan to sue every parent whose child fails to show significant learning gains on the FCAT. That’s right. If I feel that a parent was negligent in any way, shape, or form in their parenting duties, I’m going to sue them. I’m pretty certain that I can sue someone for interfering with my ability to earn a living. If accountability is going to be enforced, it needs to be enforced on every entity that has an effect—positive or negative—on the abilities of a child to succeed in education. Seem irrational? Maybe. But no more than linking my livelihood to the whims of a pre-teen who, quite honestly, is more interested in texting than testing.

On a side (and less sarcastic) note, I fear that the worst aspect of Senate Bill 6 will come to fruition with its passing. Uneducated children. This bill will force teachers to focus only on items covered by the test. No more teaching to the whole child, no more sharing of life experiences or real world situations. No more arts or vocational education. No more hands on labs, no more field trips. Just test prep. Education without emotion. And that might be the worst part of this entire ordeal.